Fairy Godfather?
by pokemongirl2523
Summary: well, that's a bad title. anyways, this is a major Tea-bashing fic, and it features Yugi's "fairy godfather." One-sided Seto-Tea, (the work of the godfather) Don't read if you have no sense of humor.
1. Fairy Godfather?

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any other possible shows in this Fic. Okay, we're set. Now I don't have to do this anymore, right?

AN: No offense to anyone who likes Tea, but this is a major Tea-bashing-fic. Sometimes, quite literally. NOW!! On with the story!

Chapter One: Beginnings

"Yugi, can I talk to you?" Tea asked shyly, after school was over.

"Not without spouting speeches you can't," Yugi muttered under his breath. He cleared his throat and said," Sure, Tea, where and when?"

"Here and now, please?" Tea suggested.

"Oh, okay. What's up?" Yugi asked.

"Yugi, I think I like you. I want our friendship to be more than friendship! Yet still be the wonderful friendship we had before now! We can still be friends, yet more than friends! We'll always be friends, together forever," Tea finished her speech to see Yugi was gone, and everyone was staring at her. "What're you staring at?" Tea yelled. Everyone around her scattered, afraid of the wrath of friendship-obsessed-Tea.

In his room, Yugi sat on his bed, rocking back and forth, saying, and "this is all a dream. Just a horrible nightmare. I will wake up tomorrow and none of this will have happened. None of it. It will be normal tomorrow, and Tea will not love me, and I will never have to hear another speech again…."

A man poofed in in a dress. The man looked suspiciously like Marik. Not The good Marik, the bad. (AN: I don't like Namu…)

"Who're you?" Yugi sniffled, looking at the strangely Marik-looking person.

"I am your Fairy Godfather," The dude said. He then muttered under his breath, "Actually, I'm just trying to escape from the shadow realm."

"Cool! Will you help me? Tea just admitted her love for me, and I'm afraid," Yugi asked helplessly.

"Wow. I'm sorry. But I will help you. I will grant you one wish," Yugi's Godfather said and smiled forcefully.

"Cool! I wish that Tea was in love with…um…Seto Kaiba!" Yugi cried out.

"Your wish has been granted," Yugi's godfather said, pulling out the millennium rod.

"That's a strange wand," Yugi said.

"Oh! Umm…some guy gave it to me…yeah…" Yugi's godfather smiled and sweat dropped. Then he poofed away in a real hurry.

Tea fell sleep, feeling weird and dreaming about Seto Kaiba.

Hello all! This is only my second fic, and I hope you like it. If you like Tea, I suggest you don't read any more. This will be a fic where Tea is bashed in head a lot. (And sometimes, quite literally) I hope you enjoy it, and laugh a lot without dieing. But if you do die from laughing, don't hurt me. Or sue me. Thanks and goodbye for now!


	2. till 2006

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any other possible shows in this Fic. Okay, we're set. Now I don't have to do this anymore, right?

AN: No offense to anyone who likes Tea, but this is a major Tea-bashing-fic. Sometimes, quite literally. NOW!! On with the story!

Chapter two: 'till 2006

In the morning, tea woke up, no longer feeling love for Yugi, but for Seto Kaiba. She decided to go see him and spout speeches about friendship and more than friendship, and how they can still be friends, and still be more than friends.

Yugi, on the other hand, woke up in a really good mood, knowing that Tea no longer loves him, but Seto Kaiba. He happily skipped down the stairs and jogged to school. He stopped short, seeing that his Fairy Godfather poofed right in front of him.

"I forgot to tell you. The spell only lasts until the New Year. At midnight New Year's Eve, the spell will break. Sorry, dude. She'll love you again after that," Yugi's Godfather apologized.

"WHAT?! It's December right now! I wish it would last 'till 2006!!!" Yugi cried out angrily.

"Whatever," Yugi's Godfather sighed. With a poof of his Millenium Rod, the wish was made to last until 2006.

"Thanks!" Yugi smiled.

"No problem…" Yugi's Godfather said and forced a smile. Under his breath, he muttered to me, "Call me Marik. Yugi doesn't read the narration."

So Marik poofed away, and I can safely call him Marik since Yugi doesn't read the narration. Yugi skipped to school the rest of the way and showed up five minutes early.

"Hello Yugi, my friend, only my friend, my wonderful friend with whom I share the joys of friendship," Tea smiled. Then Seto Kaiba came in. Tea looked at him dreamily for a moment before rushing to him, spouting speeches about friendship and how wonderful it is. Kaiba looked at Yugi helplessly, as if saying, "HELP ME!!!!" really frantically.

Yugi stepped between them, covering his ears in case Tea started spouting again. "Kaiba, I'm so sorry," Yugi apologized.

"For what?" Kaiba asked suspiciously.

"It looks like Tea's in love with you," Yugi sighed.

"No! Please, God, no! Why me? Why nopt the mutt?" Kaiba cried.

"Becaused I wished it," Yugi muttered.

"What was that?" Kaiba asked.

"Because you just happened to be the unfortunate soul that she fell in love with, and we pity you from the bottom of my heart," Yugi covered up.

So, that's the second chapter. Read and review please. I will accept flames, though I don't like them. Everyone who reviews gets cookies!!!


	3. Christmas worries

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any other possible shows in this Fic. Okay, we're set. Now I don't have to do this anymore, right?

AN: No offense to anyone who likes Tea, but this is a major Tea-bashing-fic. Sometimes, quite literally. NOW!! On with the story!

Chapter three: Christmas worries

"It's almost Christmas!" Yugi celebrated, decorating their house for the party he was going to have. He had invited all of his friends, even Sakura Kinomoto and Li Syaoran. He pulled out the fruitcake he had made the other day, and felt that it as hard as a rock. Oh, well. He could always feed it to Tea. The door bell rang and he ran to answer it. There stood Sakura Kinomoto and Li Syaoran.

"Hi Sakura! Hi, Li!" Yugi cried out, hugging both of them.

"Hey, Yugi!' Sakura smiled, hugging back. This made poor old Li angry.

"Hands off Sakura, Yugi," Li growled.

"Ooh, is someone jealous?" Yugi teased.

"No, I'm not jealous!" Li yelled, blushing like mad.

"I think you are!" Yugi teased.

"Shut up!" Li yelled.

"Hey, Yug! Who're these people?" Came Joey's voice from behind Sakura. "The girl's pretty cute, though.

"Stay away from her!" Li growled.

"Someone's jealous!" Yugi teased from behind Li.

"Li, stop being over-protective," Sakura smiled. "We're all friends here, right?"

"Yes! Friends! What a wonderful word! Friendship is the best thing to ever happen to man! There is no ship like the Friendship!" Tea smiled cheesily behind Joey, dragging Kaiba with her.

"Why did I invite her?" Yugi sighed.

"'Cause if you didn't, we'd be sitting through hours of lectures about inviting friends to you parties tomorrow. Thank you for inviting her," Joey said.

Sakura and Li hid behind Yugi, which didn't do much, seeing as Yugi is as tall as an 8 year old, and they were 11.Or were they 12? Oh, who cares?

"Oh, joy! New friends to become friends with! I must know everything about you!" Tea smiled.

"Sakura, use the time card to fast forward," Yugi suggested.

"Right!" Sakura said. She summoned her wand and used the time card. They fast forwarded through Tea's speech.

"TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT!!!!" Kaiba pleaded, now down on his knees in front of Sakura.

"What's with him?" Sakura asked Yugi.

"Tea's in love with him."

"I'm sorry," Sakura said bluntly.

So the party started, and people kept showing up. Soon the Game shop was really crowded. Amidst all the people, Yugi could see his fairy Godfather eating fruitcake and drinking eggnog that Tea had made.

"Hello, Fairy Godfather," Yugi greeted. He then noticed that his Fairy Godfather looked familiar. "Maybe I should read the narrations more often"

"What would be the point of that? I mean, you see everything happen, so why read it all over again?" Marik said quickly.

"Good point," Yugi mused. "Anyways, why are you here?" Yugi asked.

"I needed fruitcake and eggnog. I'm having a bad day," Marik said. He saw Tea stand on a chair and clear her throat, so he poofed away real quick.

"My friends please listen to what I have to say. I am going to make a speech about our wonderful friendship that we have."

Yugi saw Sakura activate the power card and the jump card. She jumped over the people, making people stare.

"You say one more word, and I will bash your head in," Sakura snarled. (AN: Tea bashing should be a sport!)

"Friends?" Tea whimpered.

the following scene is too graphic for me to maintain a G rating, so I will replace it with staring at the half-eaten fruitcake. It has a few teeth stuck in it. Marik popped in and took the teeth. "That's where they went," he said, and put them back in his mouth. Anyways, the fight is over, so back to our normal program

Tea was half dead when Sakura stopped. She looked at the crowd and yelled her battle cry. "Hoeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

Then, the crowd cheered for ten minutes before quieting down. Everyone started leaving, but Yugi stopped Kaiba. He handed Tea to him.

"You're her boyfriend," Yugi said, and shoved him out the door, holding the mangled Tea.

So, that's the third chapter. Read and review please. I will accept flames, though I don't like them. Everyone who reviews gets cookies!!!


	4. Happy new Year!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any other possible shows in this Fic. Okay, we're set. Now I don't have to do this anymore, right?

AN: No offense to anyone who likes Tea, but this is a major Tea-bashing-fic. Sometimes, quite literally. NOW!! On with the story!

Chapter four: Happy New Year!

Yugi Motou was dancing down the street, happily celebrating on New Year's Eve. He had been invited to a party by his friends, Domon Kasshu, Allenby Beardsley, and Rain What's-her-face. He and all of his friends, even Tea, were going. He was walking along when his Fairy Godfather poofed in.

"You goin' to a party? Can I come? Will there be fruitcake? Eggnog?" Marik asked excitedly.

"I don't know. You can come, but don't be seen. Beware of Tea, though," Yugi warned him.

"YAY!! Eggnog!" Marik cried. He then poofed away to get ready for the party.

Yugi continued on his way to Domon's house, and met up with Kaiba and Tea on the way.

"Hello, my wonderful friend! Friendship is a wonderful thing!" Tea cried out, not letting go of Kaiba's arm.

"Save me, Yugi! She's been spouting speeches all day!" Kaiba begged.

"Hey, look! Possible friends!" Yugi cried out quickly, pointing to a group of teenage preps.

"Ooh! Friends!" Tea ran off to spout speeches to the teenagers, leaving Kaiba and Yugi behind.

"Thank you," Kaiba sighed.

"I've never seen you so pitiful, Kaiba," Yugi said.

"Let's leave her behind!" Kaiba breathed, avoiding Yugi's last comment.

"Gotcha," Yugi smirked. They ran off, trying to not be noticed by Tea, who was being laughed at by the teenage girls. Too bad for them, she noticed.

"Seto-chan, are we going to be late?" Tea called out after them. She ran from the teenagers and caught up with Yugi and Kaiba.

"Seto-chan," Yugi muttered under his breath, just so Kaiba could hear.

"SHUT UP!" Kaiba yelled.

"Now, now, Seto-chan, is that any way to speak to your wonderful friends?" Tea said, clinging to Kaiba's arm like…like…like…something!

They arrived at Domon's house with Kaiba half dead from boredom, Tea not helping. They rang the doorbell, and Allenby answered it.

"Hi, Yugi!!!!!" Allenby cried out, hugging Yugi as tightly as a Gundam Fighter can. She noticed that she was crushing his ribs, so she let go. She greeted the other two, and Tea spouted a ten-minute long speech.

"Yugi, is that you?" Domon asked, coming up from behind them in Burning Gundam.

"Hi, Domon!" Yugi called up to him.

Domon jumped out of his Gundam, landing right next to Tea. She started a speech, but Allenby interrupted.

"Hi, Domey! How was your training?" She asked, hugging Domon.

"It was okay. Nothing good to train with around here, though," Domon sighed, peeling Allenby off of him, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"If I had a Gundam, I'd train with you," Yugi smiled.

"No, you just go inside and warm up. Rain's preparing the food," Domon smiled, pushing them inside the house. He followed, shutting the door behind them. They walked to the kitchen, where Rain was pulling out the cup-o-noodles.

"Rain, I told you to get real food!" Domon whined.

"Go get it yourself, Domon! You're perfectly capable!" Rain cried out exasperatedly.

"Whatever. I've been training!" Domon argued.

"Get it yourself anyways!"

"I can't just leave my guests here!"

"I won't eat them!"

"Sure you won't!"

"Get your own darn food!"

"Get some fruitcake and eggnog while you're at it," Yugi added.

Domon glared at him as he walked by to go get real food. He opened the door, stalked out, and slammed it shut.

"That went well," Yugi smiled.

People kept coming, until their house was fuller than full. They ate, talked, and played games. Then one more person poofed in. That was, of course, Marik.

"Hi, Fairy Godfather!" Yugi smiled.

"Where's the fruitcake?" he automatically said.

"Over there, where no one is," Yugi said, pointing to the fruitcake and eggnog.

Marik poofed over there and started eating fruitcake and drinking eggnog. He winced as one of his teeth broke.

"I'll fix that…" He muttered. He pulled out his millennium rod and fixed his tooth.

The party continued, everyone having fun except Seto Kaiba. He had to deal with Tea. Poor guy.

At the end of the party, Tea made the mistake of standing up on a table and starting a speech. With two Gundam fighters present, and Rain, it was a huge mistake. She had gotten two words out of her mouth when they surrounded her.

"One more word out of that little friendshippy mouth of yours, and my Domey will kick your sorry behind!" Allenby threatened,

"Go ahead. Just do it in a friendly manner!" Tea said triumphantly. "There is nothing better than-" Tea was cut off by the thrashing she got from the three maniacs. Rain didn't stop until Tea was on the verge of death and Domon had to pull her off. Once again, Kaiba was stuck with her on the way home. Yugi felt sorry for him and walked him home, but that was it.

END!!!

Extra Bonus story! The life of Marik in the shadow realm! And how he became Yugi's Godfather!

"Hm. I'm bored," Marik sighed. Oh, Ra, can I leave this horrid place yet?!"

"NO!" Boomed the voice of Ra from above. "Well, maybe, if you help a helpless boy."

"I'll do it!" Marik yelled.

"You will become the fairy Godfather of Yugi Motou until I see fit that you leave this place," Ra boomed.

"YUGI MOTOU?" Marik cried out.

"Yes, Yugi Motou. You will not reveal your true identity. When I see fit, you will posses the body of a soulless baby and grow up with loving parents," Ra determined.

"Wait! WAIT! WAI-" Marik was cut off by his being teleported to introduce himself to Yugi as Yugi's fairy godfather. The rest is history…

So, that's the third chapter. Read and review please. I will accept flames, though I don't like them. Everyone who reviews gets cookies!!!


	5. back to school

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any other possible shows in this Fic. Okay, we're set. Now I don't have to do this anymore, right?

AN: No offense to anyone who likes Tea, but this is a major Tea-bashing-fic. Sometimes, quite literally. NOW! On with the story!

Chapter five: School again

Yugi Motou walked to school on the first day back from winter break when he heard an all-too-familiar voice…

"Yugi-kuuuun!"

Yugi turned around to see his old friends, Miaka and Yui (They're from Fushigi Yuugi)

"Miaka! Yui! Good to see you again!" Yugi smiled.

"Yeah! Man, I'm starved!" Miaka laughed.

"You're such a dip…" Yui said.

"Oh, Yuuuuugiiiiii!" Called Tea's voice.

"Is…that Tea?" Miaka asked sweat-dropping and slowly turning her head around.

She saw Tea running towards them, dragging Kaiba with her, a happy smile on her face. But she ran into a light pole because she wasn't looking where she was going. Kaiba took that moment and ran towards Tea as fast as he could.

Tea stood up and wiped the blood off her forehead. "Owies…. Hey!" Tea realized that Kaiba had run away. "Seto-chaaaaaan!" She whined.

"Seto-chan…" Yugi muttered, just loud enough for Kaiba to hear.

"URUSAII!" Kaiba yelled as loud as he could.

"Now, now Seto-chan, don't talk to friends like that!" Tea scolded, somehow teleporting from the light pole to next to Yugi.

"Guys, we'll be late if we don't get going…." Yugi sighed.

"Right!" Tea said. "Let's go, friends!" She pulled Yugi and Kaiba behind her as she ran off to school with another happy smile on her face. She ran into another person, and Yugi and Kaiba ran off to school as fast as they could. The person Tea ran into just HAPPENED to be…TAMAHOME!

"You little…Watch where you're going, girl!" Tamahome spat.

"Now, now….Don't talk to strangers that way, okay?" Tea scolded.

Tamahome got an angry look on his face, and Yui ran up to him, crying, "Tamahomeeeeee!" With tears in her eyes.

"Tamahome's MINE!" Miaka spat, grabbing Tamahome from Yui.

They played a little tug-of-war over Tamahome, while Yugi and Kaiba sweatdropped. They slowly scooted away when Tea started lecturing them, and ran as fast as they could to school.

They got to the gates, and saw Joey and Tristan waiting for them.

"hey, Yug'!" Joey smiled. He walked up to them and said, "Awwww…is poor Seto-chan wunning away fwom his giwlfwiend?"

"URUSAIIII!" Kaiba yelled. He stalked past them in an "I'm-so-much-better-than-you" attitude.

Joey stuck his tongue out at Kaiba as he left. "I don't like your attitude!"

The four friends, one outcast who can't be outcasted, and one "certain" unfortunate teenager that looks like a kid I know, all suffered through the school day, and afterwards, they met up with Miaka, Yui, and Tamahome at a bar. Well, at a coffee shop. Close enough, right?

Miaka and Yui were as happy as they could be, happily solving the Tamahome conflict, while Tamahome was almost torn in two. (Tug-o-war can do that to ya)

They sat and talked, while Tea was hanging all over a scared little Seto. Poor, poor Seto….

And the Mokuba showed up. (dun dun dunnn….)

"Seto, you have a girlfriend!" He asked incredulously.

"Not willingly!" Kaiba cried out, tears rolling down his face in a humorous manner.

"My, my…Your tears…They flow like waterfalls!" (Excel Saga, for all you people out there) Yugi said, saddened by the pitifulness of Kaiba.

"Seto's got a girlfriend, Seto's got a girlfriend!" Mokuba sang, prancing off.

"MOKUBAAAAA!" Kaiba called after him.

So, that's the fifth chapter. Sorry I haven't been updating. The computer crashed, and no my sister hogs it for "Homework" (Really chatting with friends) But here it is! Read and review please. I will accept flames, though I don't like them. Everyone who reviews gets cookies!


	6. The end? Damn, not yet!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any other possible shows in this Fic. Okay, we're set. Now I don't have to do this anymore, right?

AN: No offense to anyone who likes Tea, but this is a major Tea-bashing-fic. Sometimes, quite literally. NOW! On with the story!

Chapter six: Death? And identities revealed? AND YUGI'S GAY!

Yugi Motou was walking down the street with the reluctant Seto Kaiba.

"Seto's got a girlfriend, Seto's got a girlfriend!" Mokuba chanted from the bushes.

"I can't believe this… Why is Tea in love with me?" Seto cried.

"I'm sorry, Kaiba. It's all because I rejected her…" Yugi apologized.

"SETO-CHAAAAAAAANNN!" Came an all-to-familiar voice… IT WAS TEA!

"FLAME ARROW!" Tea was then burnt to a crisp on the sidewalk, and a girl with short, braided red hair stood behind her. "I've wanted to do that all my life! Woo-hoo!" The girl cried out, running past Tea to tackle Yugi. "It's Yugi-kun!"

"Oh, uh…hello, Hikaru…" Yugi sweatdropped. He squeezed his way out of Hikaru's grip to see Hikaru's boyfriend, Lantis, and her two best friends Umi and Fuu.

"We were in town, so we thought we'd stop by and say hello," Lantis explained in that shmexy voice of his. (In the Japanese version, his voice is shmexy. No idea about the English version, but most of the voices suck in English….)

"It's nice to see you, Lantis, Hikaru, Umi, Fuu," Yugi smiled, backing away from Lantis.

"Don't get intimidated by his height, Yugi-kun! He's just a big baby inside!" Hikaru giggled.

"I am not! I'm a warrior," Lantis huffed.

"SETO-CHAAAAAANNN!"

"SHE'S ALIVE!" Hikaru screamed.

Tea latched onto Seto's arm and giggled that annoying little giggle of hers.

"Seto's got a girlfriend; Seto's got a girlfriend…" Mokuba chanted from the bushes.

Suddenly, Hikaru, Umi and Fuu jumped on Tea and attacked her, giving Seto and Yugi time to escape. They did, and ran across the street on a yellow light. Hikaru, Umi and Fuu let Tea go, and she ran across the street on a red light. "SETO-CHAAAAAANNN!" She yelled, but the she got run over by a big old semi-truck.

"Oh, that's gotta hurt…." Hikaru winced.

"Am I free? Am I free? Will I never have to eat fruitcake again?" Seto cried.

"Fruitcake has nothing to do with Tea…" Yugi muttered.

Then, Yugi's godfather popped in. "Did I hear fruitcake?"

"Marik Ishtar!" Seto yelled, pointing.

"Oh, so THAT's why you looked familiar…" Yugi pondered. "Why'd you help me?"

"I was forced. No choice…" Marik sighed.

"Either way, you got rid of Tea! I love you!" Yugi squealed, jumping on Marik and squeezing him until his face turned blue.

"Please…tell me you didn't mean it…" Marik squeaked.

"I mean it, I mean it! I love you!" Yugi squealed.

"Awww…how cute…" Hikaru sighed.

"I'm actually….turned on by this…." Seto realized.

Yugi reached his face up and kissed Marik, but got stabbed by the millennium rod. "I…am not…gay," Marik scowled, pulling the rod out of the dead Yugi's chest.

The God of the underworld appeared, and grabbed Marik. Then they both disappeared.

"That was…weird…but now…Both Yugi and tea are dead! I'm FREE!" Seto cried, prancing off to his giant building of DOOM! Actually, to Kaiba Corporation. Same thing.

"I'm just gonna forget this ever happened," Hikaru said, walking off.

"Good idea," Lantis sighed.

THE END!

(Or is it?)

So, that's the last chapter. Sorry I haven't been updating. The computer crashed, and no my sister hogs it for "Homework" (Really chatting with friends) But here it is! Read and review please. I will accept flames, though I don't like them. Everyone who reviews gets cookies! Tell me if you want me to continue!


End file.
